Bug and Bean Blog

i write this as my two and a half year old toddler peacefully naps in the car as we wait for the older kids to get out of school. (he has the cutest snore!) one of the things that I admire most about kids is their carefree nature and innocence to the world around them. most days I look at them and I’m excited for their potential and all the wonderful things that are to come their way, but other days, like today, my heart is heavy with the thought of them growing up in such a messed up world. naturally, i’m like a mama bear wanting to protect her cubs wanting to shield them from the uglies abound and I often find myself questioning our parenting tactics. is arming them with compassion and humility the right way to go? do nice guys always finish last? one of the points that mike and I always try to drive home with the kids is that, everything you do or say affects everyone else in this family/around you. are we sending them out there to get eaten alive? how do we teach them to fend for themselves while keeping their integrity in tact?

especially now, with all that is going on in the world today, it’s hard to feel hopeful and it often leaves me feeling confused, helpless and questioning humanity. mike and i are not really outspoken, opinionated kind of people. I consider us pretty laid back people and we usually let things just roll off our shoulders. sometimes, indifferent to a fault. we’ll never be great activists, but we do care and though i’m not much of a writer, sometimes things happen that make me feel like it needs to be put down in words.

today, on our way home from dropping off mike at work, we dropped by costco to add my mother-in-law to our account. just another daily errand. i was dumbfounded by how rude the lady working at the customer service counter was to us. before I could even get all my questions answered, she quickly shooed me away and proceeded to “help” the next customer. it was a much older lady and she spoke to her in the same snippy rude manner. as i tried to ask my question again, she rolled her eyes at me and snapped some words back at me which in turn caused me to roll my eyes and walk away upset. i was tempted to say some words to her but instead let it roll off my shoulders and went on with my shopping. i don’t get too much one on one time with my little guy, so i really value it and i wasn’t going to let some grouchy lady ruin that. still, it did kinda sour our day a bit. i hoped that she was just having a bad day but later, as i checked out i overheard the same lady chatting with a co-worker about how another customer was dissatisfied with her customer service. that’s at least 3 people she affected negatively in the 30 or so minutes i was there.

i get it, everyone has their own personal shit they are dealing with, everyone has bad days, their reservations, their judgements. normally, i wouldn’t pay this any more attention other than maybe complaining to mike about it. it was bothersome, but certainly not a big enough deal to warrant a response. but then something else happened that really got me thinking. as we were driving home, i got stopped at the turn lane. there was a man down on his luck standing there with a cart of his belongings and a sign asking for help. as i reached down to grab a dollar, i heard the chirp of a police car. a undercover black suv pulled up right next to us and the officer, with a smug look on his face, ordered the man to leave. the officer said something to the effect of, “get out of here! BYE! BYE! go!” It’s not what he said, but how he said it so dismissively that bothered me. the man began yelling out profanities as he gathered up his things. as he pushed his cart across the street, the man yells out “fine! I’l just rob somebody then!” all at once, I felt sad, angry, helpless, cowardly for not saying/doing anything. what would the outcome have been if the officer took a minute to explain to him why he needed to leave? or better yet, what if the officer directed him to a place where he could get some help, a square meal, something?! what a sad sight it was to see. when did people stop caring about other people? what if people began treating people with thoughtfulness and consideration?

we may not be able to control the things that are happening around us, but we do have the ability to make our own choices. if everyone would just take the time to slow down and step away from themselves for a minute, maybe we would be able to see that we are not all that different. I don’t expect people to change their beliefs or lifestyle, but we need to start somewhere. It’s the little things that don’t cost anything or take very much time to do, a smile, hello, please, thank you that we can start with. these common courtesies that we try to teach our kids are the very things we all need. so do we encourage compassion and kindness in a world that may end up taking advantage of them? we say yes. we can spend our whole life worrying about the things that could go wrong and focus on all the negative or we can choose to make the most of the time we have and look for all of life’s potential.

so despite all of the negatives of the day, I come home, look at my family and choose to feel hopeful again.